he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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