I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you would pick up someone in the library
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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