If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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