i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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