Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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