you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
