Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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