butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
