Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
