So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
