He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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