I just saw a hot homeless man
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
