If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
