Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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