The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize