We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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