I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
