Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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