I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.