it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
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look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
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Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED