The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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