So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
