I want to stick my p in your. b.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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