Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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