she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
