what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
