Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Randomize
Follow @tfln