I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself