Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Im part way to drunk.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.