I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize