Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
