It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
