Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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