She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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