Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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