thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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