I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
