From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
PANTIES FOUND
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