Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
