What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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