Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
