Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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