Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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