I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
