eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
