You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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