Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
