The maid of honor just puked.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
