Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
