why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
