Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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