Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I need help removing her.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
