i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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