why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
