how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
