my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
