saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
