Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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