she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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