KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
