he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
