So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
