i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
