oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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