Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
