I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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