The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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