Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
