now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
