I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
